Sam's Journal
by poetic heart 75
Summary: Sam is keeping track of his thoughts in a journal. The story leads up to a present day search for answers.
1. Chapter 1

Sam's Journal Entries

Day One: "Carry On My Wayward Son"

Yeah, I said I wanted a normal life. Law school, place of my own and a hot girlfriend. What more could I possibly ask for? I wanted to marry Jess and maybe even have kids one day. Apparently, the world had another plan for me one more time. Halloween night I come downstairs after being out all night with Jess and some of our friends.

Halloween is usually a night when you go out to costume parties or take your kids out trick or treating in costumes. Well, that wasn't the tradition in the Winchester family. We sort of lived Halloween. My older brother and father are out trying to save the world from the "Things that go bump in the night." My father is on the hunt because something of the other world took our mother away from us when I was 6 months old. He wants revenge for her death. My brother Dean has always obeyed everything our father has said like a good little foot soldier.

Well, I stopped being "the good little foot soldier" when I decided that life as a normal college kid sounded better then chasing after imaginary "things that go bump in the night" and driving myself crazy. I see where it got Dad. He's all alone on the run. I don't know if Dean is still with him or not. We haven't spoken since I got accepted into Stanford. I think he's pissed because I left him alone with Dad and his drinking. Dad was never violent towards his kids. I don't see why my leaving was such a big huge deal.

You'd swear I told my father I was running off to join the circus the day I got the letter welcoming me to Stanford. I had a full ride to law school and my father was pissed at me for leaving him. He told me to never come back. How the hell are you going to condemn your son for getting a full ride to one of the top law schools in the United States? I'd expect Dean to be supportive of his younger brother, but he stood there and took Dad's side. The family business meant more to him then his own brother. So, to hell with both of them. I went to school and did well for 2 years until that night.

Day 2: "The family business"

God, I wish there was a man with a huge gun downstairs and not that cocky smirk that Dean loves to put on.

"You're getting rusty there tiger."

He always had a way with words. He broke into my apartment where I lived with my girlfriend. Expecting me to greet him warmly as he is wondering if I have any beer and ogling my girlfriend's body. Dean was always a charmer. I still want to kick his ass. He drags me off on this mission to go find Dad cuz he's missing and hasn't checked in from one of his many hunts he goes on. I don't see where his going missing means I need to leave my life in California, but Dean insists he can't do this alone and needs me to help him find Dad this time. So, I reluctantly get into the Impala and we speed off for parts unknown. I tell him I have to be back for my interview on Monday and he assures me I will be back in time for it.

Little do I know what is in store for me when I get back on that faithful Monday.

Day 3: "We've Got Work to Do"

I never should've left. Maybe I should've just told Jess I was having weird dreams about her burning to death on the ceiling before it actually happened. Then at least she would've left me for being certifiably insane instead of dying right? I wish I was crazy and that it never happened, but I saw it with my own two eyes. She was pinned against the ceiling in our apartment and her blood was dripping on my forehead. She called my name and reached for me before bursting into flames.

Now the nightmares are of her reaching for me and asking me "Why?" like why didn't I stop it from happening somehow. If Dean could tell when Dad was in trouble, why couldn't we stop Jess from burning to death? He keeps asking me if I am OK. Hell no I'm not OK. I'm being haunted by my girlfriend's death. I'm far from OK, but I tell him I'm fine and we trek on from hotel to hotel. Our big black '67 Chevy Impala roaring down the road as Dean's hair band metal and classic rock blast from the speakers. Now I am just as fucked up as Dean and my father wanting revenge on the thing that took Jess from me and my mother. So much for having other plans with my life. I threw that gun in the trunk like it was second nature to up and leave my well rooted life in California. No questions asked. Now, I got the headaches to prove something ain't right.

Day 4: "What's happening?"

The headaches are getting worse not better. I'm sleeping more, but it's hard to explain to Dean that I am having these weird dreams that are related to real people who need our help. I don't want to go to sleep cuz I keep seeing Jess dying before my eyes and I just blow Dean off and tell him I'm dreaming of Lollypops and candy canes. He knows I am having a hell of a time sleeping at night. I never told Jess anything about the family business and maybe I should've tried to warn her that the men in our family are cursed when it comes to relationships.

So on top of watching my girlfriend die and dealing with not being able to find my father yet. I now have to try to understand why these visions are happening. No, dead people don't come visit me in my dreams and want to be crossed over. I can't solve crimes by laying hands on evidence either. My dreams pretty much lead me to wonder why I am having them in the first place and mostly lead back to one main source of evil. Dean doesn't understand why they are happening either. He calls it "the shinning" and tries to help me understand better where these are all of the sudden coming from and why they are all linked back to that once source of evil.

Day 5: "Destiny"

I've finally come to the realization that Dean and I are better off without our father. I'm at peace with the idea that Jess is gone and there is nothing I could've done to stop her from dying. Dean accepted my gift. Although I feel like it's a curse lately. I guess you can't save them all. It doesn't make the loss any easier to deal with though.

We found Dad and he said he is closing in on the Demon that killed mom. Or course, I want to go kill it together. This is the same thing that killed Jess. I deserve to be a part of killing the son of a bitch. Dean and I had a huge fight and I left him to go back to California. Dean wants to go on the next job and I want this thing out of our lives for good. Dad wants us to go on the next job. So, Dean does what Dad said like a good little soldier one more time. Sorry, I just want to go find him and fight this thing. So, that's what I'm gonna do. Find Dad and fight this thing. Whatever Dean wants to go fight can't possibly be as big as getting rid of this once and for all.

Besides, there is something he is not telling me and I can't quite put my finger on it. How can he justify leaving his brother in the middle of nowhere to go do some stupid job? Especially when the whole reason for me to even be on this journey was to find dad and kill this thing.

Well, we know what happened with that. I ran into Meg and she turned out to be a possessed girl who was summoning some demon that tried to kill me, Dean and my father all at the same time. She used us as bait for our father. We barely escaped with our lives.

That's when it all became crystal clear that we were better off apart then all three of us getting killed together. Dad was just plain vulnerable with us there and so were we. There was just no possible way to do this together without dying together. So, we went our separate ways and now I'm staring in the rearview mirror of the Impala at two bloody faces and my brother dying before my eyes one more time. No faith healer is going to save this one. We need a real hospital stay. The Impala is mangled against the front of a semi truck and the driver is no where to be found.

Next thing I know, I'm blinded by flashing lights and sirens. My father and brother are both rushed to the hospital and I am taken in for minor injuries. I pray they both pull through this. Yes. I'm the Winchester that believes in the power of prayer and hoping that my family won't all be killed at once.

I got the colt, but it does me no good without my dad and Dean to help. Especially since I can feel that Dean is still alive and well inside his coma. He keeps sending me signs of some sort.

Day 6: Choices

Some times we are given a choice and the choices are all bad, but have good side effects. My father chose to summons a demon and bargain for Dean's life. Dean is alive and well, but dad is dead and his soul is in hell. We have the colt to kill the demon, but our family is down another member. Now Dean chooses to shut down and not let me in on how he's feeling since Dad's death. He seems to be doing some sort of internal battle with something he won't let me in on. The more I ask questions, the more he tells me to just accept what he says and leave it alone. That's not good enough for me. I know demons aren't charitable. Dad told him something before he died and I want to know what the hell he said to him and why he won't tell me.

I haven't even seen Dean morn for our dead father yet. He seems to be afraid to cry. But, he's thrown himself into his work enough to scare the hell out of me. He is ruthless right now and it's freaky. He questions why he was spared and our father was taken. He doesn't understand why dad sold his soul to save Dean's and he doesn't understand why he had to die. But he sure wants a piece of that evil son of a bitch that took him.

Day 7: Trust

Ok, Dean finally cracked and laid everything on me. He misses dad and wishes he didn't die for him. But, he's also not telling me something pretty damn major and it's eating him up inside. He's on the verge of tears as he is warming up to tell me standing on the bridge.

Finally, he tells me Dad's final words to him were to keep me safe and protect me because one day He may have to kill me. I am beyond freaked out and go postal on Dean for not telling me that I may go "dark side". I cursed dad for not trusting me enough to tell me. I want to know why.

"Present day"

Well, you've read the history and you've seen what I've been through. You've see what lead up to the revelation that I had demon blood in me and that our mother may have known the demon. Well, Dean doesn't know any of this and I never told him exactly what the Yellow Eyed Demon revealed to me before we sent him back to hell along with opening a whole gate way of demons. Cold Creek changed me as a person all together.

Mom is a saint to Dean and I can't possibly take that image from his mind. He doesn't need to know that she knew I was given demon blood at 6 months old. He's been through enough drama having to bring me back from the dead at Cold Creek.

Then again, there's the side of me that still remembers how pissed I was that dad never trusted me enough to tell me about my destiny. I can't keep acting like nothing happened at Cold Creek either. He sold his soul for me and I'm keeping a huge secret from him. That's how I pay him back for all of his loyalty to me and his love. I'm protecting his innocence the same as he does mine. It doesn't seem fair, but I can't do that to him. I can't take away the one small victory we have accomplished together. The Yellow Eyed Demon is dead and we are free to be ourselves again. It's sparked a new hunt in us.

"Now"

200 miles outside of Richardson, Texas, Dean is sleeping in the passenger seat and I'm driving. This is a total role reversal because usually he drives and is entertaining himself singing along to some random classic rock song while I am sleeping in the passenger seat. I glance over and he is slumped against the window using his jacket as a make shift pillow. He looked comfortable and content.

My ass went numb about a couple hundred miles back and my arms are stiff from holding their position on the wheel so long. Suddenly, I got this idea. How asleep is Dean really? Will he even notice if I changed the radio? I decided to change the tape in the player. So far, just his snoring answered me back. He'd never notice the Bon Jovi tape that was playing. "You Give Love A Bad Name" comes on and I go into rocker mode. Drumming on the steering wheel and singing to myself like Dean had done hundreds of times before. He only slightly stirred, but only to adjust his pillow from sliding off the window. His rhythmatic snoring started up again.

I could totally fuck with him right now. I owe him for the itching powder. Gluing the bottle to his hand was just the beginning. Yeah, I know. I'm starting up the prank thing again that I bitched about before. It's so worth it for all the shit Dean did to me. This would be one hell of a pay back. OK. Time to think what I can use. There's not much in this car and I don't see an opportunity to pull over and stop without waking Dean up.

As if on cue, a can of shaving cream rolls up under my foot. Lucky for me, it's not the foot I'm driving with. I kick it closer to my opposite hand and attempt to carefully grab it off the floor without swerving and jerking the car all over the road. He mutters some comment about me falling asleep at the wheel and I said I was fine. Then he asked to change the radio and dozed back off like a charm. Some people really shouldn't talk when they are dead ass asleep. He randomly babbles things at me when he's asleep all the time. I ignore it if his eyes are closed because 9 times out of 10, he won't remember the conversation.

Finally, I get the can off the floor and into my hand. I stash it in my lap until I am sure that Dean is back to being one of the sleeping dead. Then I proceed to spray a blob into his hand. So far, so good. He's not moving or even trying to swat me away from him. He probably figures I can't do much while I am driving to him. Now, to get him to smash it in his face so I can get a picture of him. Tickling his nose is going to prove to be a harder feet while trying to stay on the road here. Time to get creative.

I get a couple of straws out of the glove box and stick them together enough to where I can reach over to Dean without missing a beat driving. This is going too perfect. I manage to tickles his nose a couple of times with the straw paper. He sits straight up in his seat and swats at whatever is in his face. I get a picture of him with shaving cream all over his face.

Dean: "What the hell?"

Sam: "You look like you're having a problem, there Dean."

Dean: "Yeah. It's called my pain in the ass younger brother fucking with me while I sleep."

He stretches the best he can and tries to wipe the sleep from his eyes without getting the shaving cream in his eyes. I'm giggling to myself.

Sam: "It's pretty damn dead out here. I have to make up my own scenery."

Dean: "That sounds familiar."

Sam: "Yeah, I wonder why. What's up with the shaving cream all over, dude?"

Dean looks in the mirror at his face and I start busting up laughing as he wipes it with some napkins.

Dean: "You're fucken dead. I swear to God, just wait."

Sam: "You put itching powder in my underwear. I owed it to you."

Dean: "You got me with the beer bottle glued to my hand and we called a truce. Remember that?"

Sam: "You also said for the next 100 miles and it's been over that. Come on, I was just messing with you."

Dean: "Yeah. Messing with me. Are we still in Texas?"

He reaches for the map on the floor in front of him and opens it to take a look at how close we are to our next destination.

Sam: "I think we just crossed over into New Mexico awhile back."

Dean: "Man, it's taking forever to get to California. What's out there again?"

Time to think fast. There wasn't really a job out there per say. More like a personal quest for answers.

Sam: "Another haunted movie set. Some restless spirit is killing off actors and sacrificing directors."

Dean: "Nice. At least it doesn't discriminate."

Sam: "I know. It's a different set then before with different people."

Dean: "I figured as much."

Truth is this isn't just any other job. I found out some information about mom being in Calico, CA and I am being driven there by one of those "feelings" I get when I am close to the truth. The more states we cross, the more intense the "feeling "gets. Cold Creek has changed me and I'm not just talking about Dean bringing me back from the dead. My senses are more in tune then they were before. I can see Calico clear as day in front of my eyes like I am living out the vision.

All of the sudden, I hear her voice in my head.

"Sammy, I'm waiting for you. You're so close. I love you."

This can't be happening. I can't hear voices in my head. Dean will think I'm nuts for sure.

Sam: (more to myself then to Dean) "Someone is fucking with me."

Dean: "Who?"

Sam: "What?"

Dean: "You said someone is fucking with you. Who's fucking with you?"

Sam: "Dude, I think you'd better drive. I'm feeling not quite myself right now."

Dean: "Ok. Pull over and I'll drive. No problem."

He had a genuine look of concern on his face when I couldn't answer him. I pulled over to the side of the road. Hell, I didn't even know if the voice was real. I just know it's not my own or Dean's voice. It's a female. He looks like I'm going to flip on him right now. My eyes are blurring into one of those visions again. I can see a blonde lady clear as day

"You need to tell your brother about me, Sammy. He needs to know."

Sam: "This can't be happening. I can't do this. Not right now."

I kneel down by the side of the car to clear my head, but it's not clearing. I can see her as if she is standing right next to me. Her hand on my shoulder comforting me. She's very maternal just from her touch and tone of voice. This was freaking me out and I'm not doing very well at hiding it from Dean. I know he can feel it happening to me too.

Dean: "Sammy? It's OK. You're starting to scare me. What's going on with you? You look pale."

Sam: "I just need to breath. It'll all make sense in a minute."

There's her soft feminine voice again. Clear as day. I'd swear she was standing there with Dean and me talking. But, Dean can't see or hear her. All he sees is his brother having another episode and is trying to help the best he can. His hands on my shoulder, I can hear my breathing starting to speed up more. Was it a panic attack? I've never done this.

"He needs to know. Come clean. You know it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't want you two to fight over this. He told you about your destiny. It's only fair."

I try to ignore the fact that she is right in my ear. I don't know what she wants or why she is in my head, but she is connected to finding the truth in Calico. I never really knew our mother. When the Yellow Eyed Demon showed me her, that was really the first time I'd seen and remembered her beautiful face. She was a spirit in our old house before and I thought she had sacrificed herself to get rid of the evil spirit in the house. Now she's trying to talk to me. I had to clear my head.

Dean wanted an answer and for me to go back to normal again. It scared him to not know what was going on with me. Hell, I don't know what's going on with me enough to explain it. I needed to know what that woman told him when she brought me back. Maybe she had something to do with this blonde lady. My mother figure. I shake my head as if I'm trying to clear her away from my mind.

Sam: "When you made that deal, did that girl say there was some sort of exception with the deal?"

Dean: "No. She never said there was an exception to the deal. You're acting really weird, here. Are you sure you're all right?"

I stand up back on my feet again. I still feel a bit light headed and woozy, but at least my breathing calmed down. That voice was quiet again. Some how I had to explain to Dean exactly what I was shown and why mom was in my head. He stepped away from me, not quite sure how to react or what to expect. He wasn't sure I wasn't loosing my last strand of sanity here.

Sam: "I just have a headache. It'll pass. You're sure there was nothing? It's really important that you tell me if there was even a slight difference."

Dean: "Yeah. I'm sure. It was just your standard deal. Give me my brother and I'll give you my soul. She gave me a year and that was it. No exceptions. No special circumstances or anything like that. Why are you asking me this? Does this have to do with you freaking out right now?"

Sam: "She didn't mention me coming back with some sort of new powers or some sort of tweaks to the new me? Aside from coming back from having my spinal cord severed and being left for dead of course. I just need to know and yeah, it has something to do with me freaking out. What if what she said caused it? What if she's making me have these weird visions and stuff?"

Dean: "No. No tweaks to the new you or new powers. Don't tell me you're buying into that whole "not 100 you" crap that the Yellow Eyed Demon was spewing at the graveyard. She wouldn't be giving you weird visions. She didn't say anything to me that would cause you to freak like this. I swear to you."

Sam: "The Yellow Eyed Demon is dead. He was fucking with us. There couldn't be any truth to that crap. Obviously, the deal is not causing me to have these panic attacks. I don't know what it is or why it's happening. I trade one strange connection for another. I can't do this anymore."

I sit on the passenger side seat with my feet out of the door. I genuinely feel like my head is about to explode. I'm tired of being used as bait for these fucken demons and their fucken little workers. It's getting old. I don't want to trade one for the other. It's not fair. I deserve some sort of break after killing the Yellow Eyed Demon.

Dean stands in front of me with that look on his face like he is expecting something to jump out of the car next to me. There's nothing there. It's just me. The woman seemed to have gone back where she had come from.

Dean: "There is no truth to what he was saying. I'll get you through this, Sam. I won't let you become a victim again. I can't lose you twice. How long have you been having these panic attacks?"

Sam: "I've been having them since we left Cold Creek. There's a voice in my head attached to these attacks. A female voice that is talking to me and trying to comfort me."

Dean: "A female voice in your head. Like a demonic voice or like a Jimmy Cricket type thing."

Sam: "I'd say it's a Jimmy Cricket thing. It's defiantly not evil and it's defiantly not trying to "come out" or "threw" me. She's just saying you need to know about her."

Dean: "Well, now I do. I know about her. She can leave your head and you can stop having these panic attacks because of her. Have you seen this female? Has she appeared to you?"

Sam: "No. I haven't seen her face. I just know she has blonde hair and she's wearing white. She's been guiding me to Calico, California. There's something she wants me to find there. She came to me right after the job in Richardson. I guess I'm supposed to find answers to what happened to her. She looks like mom."

Dean: "Why does mom want you to go to Calico? I don't understand why she's talking to you like this. Why wouldn't she just possess you? This isn't the usual supernatural stuff we deal with together. This sounds like it's more of a personal battle and she's trying to iron things out for you and answer your questions. "

Sam: "I told you she's not evil. So, she wouldn't possess anyone. She's just guiding me to help her because she's not here, I guess. Like I'm her physical body and she's my conscious. She wants you to know all about what I find."

Dean: "You're starting to freak me out, Dude. Why is this female that looks like mom interested in letting me know about her? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of her just kind of chilling out inside my brother's head. You're not Jennifer Love Hewitt for Christ Sake. We have this movie job to do and your head needs to be in the game. We watched mom sacrifice herself in Lawrence. She stopped that evil spirit from taking that woman and her child."

Sam: "You don't think I remember that? I'm not comfortable with her inside my head either, but there's not much I can do until I get to Calico, is there. Besides, I'm pretty sure the movie job is a cover up to get us out to California."

He gets in the driver's side and I shut my door.

Dean: "She'd better leave us the hell alone after this. I don't want some spirit thing inside your head mind fucking you. We still don't know what she is. She's supernatural."

Sam: "She may be supernatural, but part of me is supernatural too. Maybe that's why she chose me instead of you or someone else to do this job. I have a confession to make."

Dean: "Great, are we gonna get more gems like this female in your head impersonating mom?"

Sam: "It explains the female's interest in you right now. If it really is mom, she'd want you to know what I find out."

He starts the car and we get back on the road. He almost looks like he doesn't want to hear any more, but he listens to me anyway. I have to admit, if the roles were reversed and Dean was talking to me about this, it would sound like he was high on some sort of drug or been out drinking all night and dreamed her up. But, this is the line of work we're in.

Dean: "It better explain the female's existence all of the sudden as well. Why the hell is she trying to be mom anyway?"

Sam: "I had a dream in Cold Creek about mom. That's why she's taking on the form of mom. Her interest in you is trying to tell her sons what happened to her with the Yellow Eyed Demon and why he was in the room with me. That's what she exists."

Dean: "You dreamt of mom in Cold Creek. Why didn't you tell me you were dreaming about her?"

Sam: "Well, sort of. I mean, the Yellow Eyed Demon showed me in my crib and he was watching mom. Mom said "you" as he was dripping blood into my mouth. I have demon blood in me and mom knew him."

Dean: "Hell's gate was opening and releasing demons. Of course he's going to show you with demon blood in your mouth. He wanted you to lead that army of demonic freaks he killed off."

Sam: "That's just it, Dean. He killed them off. They all died except for me and Jake. I was left alive. So, he didn't want me to lead that freakish demonic army. He had special plans for me and believed I was the strongest out of all of them. So, why was Jake spared and I killed?"

Dean: "Technically, you're not dead. I brought you back. I screwed up his plans by bringing you back from the dead like that"

Sam: "You know what I'm talking about. He left Jake alive and had you bring me back to kill Jake. Jake was the only way he could cross over to the gate and have it opened. He knew I would never open the gate knowing you; Bobby and Ellen were out there fighting it. So, he had me killed. I'm out of the way. You go to bring me back. You're busy saving me and out of the way. So Jake was used to open the gate. Jake started a new war that we tried to end by shutting the gate. That's the new army they wanted me to lead. The Yellow Eyed Demon was talking about the new army of demons that escaped from the gate. I'm almost positive on that. As sure as that female's voice."

Dean: "Well, Thank God we ended it, right. I mean, those thousands of demons that escaped through the open gate couldn't possibly start a new war on their own. They would have to finish the one the Yellow Eyed Demon wanted. They couldn't possibly come back for you. Don't you get it, Sam? He was mind fucking you. He wanted you to believe you were part demon so you would turn on me and lead his army. You are my Sammy. You're a human being all the way. It was mind tricks."

Sam: "Think about it, Dean. Dad said you had to protect me because you would have to kill me one day. It makes perfect sense. My visions all lead back to that Yellow Eyed Demon bastard. Everything I saw somehow came back to him and his mind games he was playing. He was playing with mom's head too. That's why she was burned alive on the ceiling. He killed her because he wanted me to be his son."

Dean: "You're not the son of this Yellow Eyed Demon. You're a Winchester, dammit. You're my pain in the ass younger brother. John Winchester raised you. There is no way in hell you have any evil blood in your stream. Stop talking like that."

Sam: "I wish I was joking and this was all some sort of cruel mind fuck that the Yellow Eyed Demon was pulling on me. But it's not. I saw it with my own two eyes. It was shown to me. I saw mom standing next to him next to my crib. She knew who he was and talked to him. I heard her say "you". She didn't scream or anything. That's why dad didn't save her from him. Dad had no way of knowing that thing was upstairs messing with both of us."

Dean: "I'm not buying into this whole "evil Sammy" routine again. Last time, I got shot in the shoulder and you tried to kill me."

Sam: "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm the common link. Mom died because the Yellow Eyed Demon wanted me. Jess suffered the same fate because he didn't want her in the big picture. I'm the common link between their deaths."

Dean: "You had nothing to do with mom or Jess's death, Sam. He killed Jess and mom. That's why he had to die. We weren't going to let him torture people anymore. We're free from his powers. There is no more Yellow Eyed Demon. You did not kill them, Sam. You need to let this go and stop putting yourself through this hell. It's over. You're free from him and all that evil death stuff that went with him."

Sam: "I'm not just putting myself through hell. I know the truth now. You brought back your brother and your brother is going to get you out of that deal you made. I will figure out a way to get you out of that one year contract. This is a totally different kind of demon we're dealing with. I'm sure I can talk her into letting you go."

Dean: "Yeah, at what price? If she believes that you are the common link and are the leader of this new army, she's going to want you to fight the cause with them in exchange for me. She's going to want to talk you into embracing your destiny. Do you want to become one of them? Do you want me to have to waste you the way I waste every single one of those sons of bitches from hell? I'd rather kill myself then watch you die again."

Sam: "I'll figure something out. It won't involve either of us dying for the other. I'll make sure of that. You're my brother and I will make sacrifices for you the same way you do for me."

It went quiet for a little while. Just the sound of the radio and the wheels in Dean's head turning and contemplating the information I gave him. I'm sure his head is probably spinning with this revelation that I gave him. Are you happy now mom? He knows the truth and he knows all about you too. I hope you know what you're doing with this. He thinks I've lost my mind. Why do you want me to tell him I have the Yellow Eyed Demon's blood in me so bad? I guess bringing me back from the dead wasn't enough of a test for Dean. Considering Dean has always told me that "Things that are dead should remain dead." and then he turns around and brings me back from the dead costing him his own soul. Good going there, mom. Now he's screwed too. Dean pulls me out of my thoughts

Dean: "So, what about this female? You never did get to the part that would explain her. I don't think mom would be trying to convince you to tell me you had demon blood in you. She'd know this kind of information would tear us apart. That proves that this bitch inside you is evil. Tell her, whatever she is, if she ever shows her ghostly form to me, I'm going to salt and burn her bones. I want her gone. She needs to leave my brother's head and stop feeding him crap about being evil and killing people. It's not gonna happen. I killed the last demon that tried that shit."

Sam: "It's mom, Dean. The female voice in my head guiding me to Calico is mom. It's not some demon feeding me crap about being evil and killing people. You don't have to salt and burn anyone's bones. She is trying to get me answers to all these questions that are out there. There is nothing telling her to convince you. I told you because you're my brother and I don't want to hide what I know from you. I wanted to tell you what I saw at Cold Creek."

Dean: "No. It's not mom, Sam. Mom is gone. It's some evil half breed hatching bitch. She ousted you to me by saying you needed to come clean. She gave you the blood at 6 months old. She wanted me to kill the Yellow Eyed Demon so she can take over. Well, that's not going to happen. She's going down next. I will not have some half breed, hatching bitch whispering sweet nothings in my brother's ear. Especially some crock of shit about him being part demon."

Sam: "It's not some half breed hatching bitch, Dean. It's mom. I'm telling you the truth. She's the guide. She wanted the truth to come out. Now she wants to show us the proof. She's not trying to take me away from you and start something. It's not about the war for once. This is about us as a family now."

Dean: "So, I'm supposed to believe mom wanted us to kill the Yellow Eyed Demon so the secret about her leaving you alone to feed off a demon would come out? I'm supposed to just drive this car into Calico so I can have proof that my brother is some evil half breed she created at 6 months old before you could even defend yourself."

Sam: "Mom knew the Yellow Eyed Demon was coming for me. That's why she tried to protect me. That's why dad came upstairs when he did and had you take me out of the room. Mom wanted to save me from the Yellow Eyed Demon not give me to him. That's what dad tried to fight off. Mom's attempt to save my life and keep me innocent. She didn't want some evil half breed for a child either. That's why she gave me to dad."

Dean: "You're actually defending this action. Mom was sticking up for the one thing we were fighting all of our lives against. That's just plain sick."

Sam: "Look, I've been fighting since Cold Creek with this secret. I didn't want to shatter your innocent images of Mom any more then I wanted you to know I had demon blood. I wanted you to hold on to that picture of innocence for as long as possible."

Finally, I see a look of acceptance on Dean's face. He was finally accepting what I was telling him and couldn't think of any other logical explanations for what I had told him. The look on his face was one I couldn't quite read.

Dean: "Well, thanks for sparing me. You did a bang up job of not spilling the beans. I feel so much better knowing I rescued you after a blood feeding from some evil demon that killed my mother because he wanted a demon child of his own. That's reassuring, Sam."

There it was. That defensive sarcasm he pulled out when something was either hitting too close to home or hurting him. He was blaming himself now.

Sam: "I'm sorry this had to happen. I really am, but it tears me up inside too. I'm fighting evil while harboring evil blood. That explains the immunity to that virus and why my visions were always connected to him. I'm not exactly wearing a party hat and celebrating."

Dean: "Yeah and you expect me to go to Calico with you to prove my mother wasn't as innocent as we all wanted her to be. That's just perfect. I can't wait to see what other fun stuff we can discover together. I've had just about enough family history for the day."

Sam: "I don't know exactly what mom wants out of this or why she is sending us to Calico, but she is doing it for a reason. A good reason not an evil one. She wants us to find out all the information we can so we are mentally armed for the fight. That's why she wanted me to share what I find with you. I'm not telling you all this to hurt you or turn you against me."

Dean: "Yeah. That's what I'm afraid of. What kind of fight are we going into? What are we up against? There were hundreds of evil spirits released from that gate. There could be anything out there waiting for us."

Sam: "That's why we have work to do."

Sometime after all that, I fell asleep for awhile and I woke up in Nevada. I don't remember if Dean ever woke me up to change drivers or not. I'm pretty sure he did, but it all seemed to blend into a huge blur.

One thing I was sure of, it's hotter then hell out in the desert. We stopped at a hotel to take a break and recuperate from the drive. I remember going into another bad hotel room with another cheesy theme. We seem to be attracted to a lot of cheesy old motel rooms. But, this one is actually kind of nice. The beds are big and the shower has a rain shower head instead of the standard shower head.

I decide to take the first shower while Dean brought our gear in from the car. I heard the door shut and him shuffling stuff around on the floor. I closed my eyes and let the warm rain of water fall down on my tired body. It seemed to be rejuvenating every inch of my body. I started feeling like I was coming to life again. After soaking my body, I decided to wash up. I grabbed my wash cloth and soap and cleaned my body from head to toe. For once, Dean didn't say anything from the other room. Probably watching TV or something. I didn't think much about him being quiet. Except Dean is never quiet. So, he's up to something. I'm sure of it.

I washed my hair and shut the water off. I put my towel on and flung open the door before Dean had time to realize the water had stopped.

Sam: "Ha, I busted you."

Dean jumped back startled out of his rummaging around in one of the bags. He instinctively grabs for his blade sitting next to him and stops when he realizes I'm standing there.

Dean: "Dammit Sam, don't do that. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Sam: "The last time I was trying to enjoy a good shower; I got itching powder in my shorts. So, you'll excuse me if I don't trust when you get quiet around our bags any more."

Dean: "The only thing you busted me doing was grabbing some clothes to change into."

He holds up his own clothes and heads towards the bathroom as I step out. I make sure to make a thorough search of everything before I touch anything I left out on the counter by the sink. He really didn't screw with anything. I'm totally shocked. He's either slipping or winding up for something really good later. I'm still gonna stay on my toes.


	2. Chapter 2

I brush my teeth and fix my hair before finally taking the towel completely off and changing into my jeans and t-shirt. For a nickel, I'd stay in my boxer shorts and just lounge on the bed in front of the air. But, I know as soon as I start to relax, Dean will be out of the shower and ready to run off and do something else. He never stays in one place for long. I lay on the bed anyway and prop myself up on my pillows. I just start dozing off to sleep when I hear the bathroom door open.

Dean: "I see your catching up on your sleep finally."'

Sam: "Yeah, I'm trying to anyway."

Dean: "Well, I won't disturb you. I'm gonna go pick up some pizza or something. Are you getting hungry yet?"

Sam: "Actually, I am getting a little hungry. That sounds like a good idea."

Dean: "You relax. You look like crap. I'll be back in 20."

He goes out the door and I hear the Impala start up. He obviously has other reasons for wanting to get away from me. I'm not gonna worry about Dean. He's a big boy and knows how to take care of himself. I let my mind finally wander off to sleep. The first peaceful sleep I've gotten since Cold Creek. Suddenly, I'm in a dream with Dean and our mother.

"You can't blame him, Dean. It's not his fault."

"He's my brother, mom. I've taken care of him all his life. I brought him back from the dead. Why are you pulling this on me?"

"You need to know about your brother's father. He's still your brother. You can't shut him out and away from you. You know you never bring back what was left for dead."

"You're punishing me? I save Sammy from a burning house fire that you were in the middle of and you're punishing me. You're own flesh and blood."

"It's not punishment. You're brother loves you. Sam will do anything for you. You just have to trust him right now."

"How am I supposed to trust the evil that I protect the world from? My own brother is an evil spawn."

"You're mother protected you from the evil spawn. You destroyed the evil that comes between you. This is your fate, Dean. You're own destiny."

"This must be part of the year contract I have on my life."

"Trust Sam with your fate, Dean. You're destiny will be revealed."

I jolt awake. Suddenly I'm panicing and needing to talk to Dean. I grab for my cell phone, but he's already pulling into the drive way with pizza and beer. I relax and try to calm down from the dream. He walks in and sets the pizza and the bag with the beer on the table.

Dean: "I got pepperoni. I hope that's OK with you."

Sam: "It's fine."

Dean: "You're pale as a sheet. What's wrong with you?"

Sam: "I just had another dream with mom in it. She was talking to you about your destiny being revealed."

Dean: "My destiny? I think we all know what my destiny involves. Fighting the good fight and cashing in my chips at the end of the year. Hell hounds and all."

Sam: "You're not going to hell, Dean. I'm not going to let you."


	3. Chapter 3

Dean: "There is no choice of what you're going to "let me" do with this. I made the deal with this Red Eyed Demon woman. It's my life that is on contract. She brought you back because I asked for you to come back. There is no saving me. You may die if you try to save me. I can't watch you just drop dead trying to save me from her."

Sam: "You're all I have left, Dean. I'm not going to stand by and let them take you to hell. I am your brother. You're my family and your the only family I have. I'm not going to stand by and let them take one more family member from me. You've stood by my side through everything. You helped me kill the Yellow Eyed Demon and freed me from his control. I owe you this. This is the one thing I can do to make things right. We'll kill this Red Eyed Demon woman. We killed the hell hounds before, remember all those other people at the Crossroads? We saved them from their contracts. I have the ability to save you from this."

Dean: "Good luck with the woman in your head and everything. Do you realize that you are totally vulnerable to a possession again right now? She can turn you totally against me and you wouldn't even feel it. Your weak as long as your focus is on this woman in white in your head and not what we have to do. Now, your trying to put that focus on saving me and your head is not all here. I don't want anything to happen to you, Sammy. I don't know what this Red Eyed Demon and her band of hellians is capable of. For all I know, these could be a totally different set of Hell Hounds designed especially for a Winchester. We're at war, here. Instead of bullets, there are hundreds of those evil demonic sons of bitches running around all over. I don't know if we can save this world."

Sam: "Don't worry about me. I'm a grown adult. I can take care of myself. The woman in white will be out of my head as soon as I can answer her questions. Once that is taken care of, my focus will totally be back in the game again. I'm not going to get possessed again. I won't let that Red Eyed Demon woman play mind games on me. I'm not a pawn in this good verses evil anymore. We can focus on saving the world after we get rid of her. I won't let the year contract expire. I promise you that much."

Dean: "You hope we can save the world. You can't make that promise any more then I can promise you nothing is going to happen in Calico."

We eat and drink and try to feel normal. I can feel something is off with Dean. I mean, Dean is protective of me because I'm his brother, but it's almost like he's holding something back. Like the whole destiny thing was no big surprise to him when I told him. He didn't even blink. I'm wondering if something is going on with Dean that he's not telling me. His expression on his face is unreadable. He sounds like he's cool, but he's acting stand offish. Suddenly, Dean gets a sharp headache.

Sam: "Dean."

He holds out his hand to me like "I'm all right", but before he could think again. He got the pain in his head.

Dean: "What the fuck?."

Sam: "Dean! What's wrong with you? You're freaking me out. Are you all right?"

I rush to his side as he's done to me through many of my episodes. I've never seen Dean do this before.

Dean: "My head."

He sees flashes of the conversation I was having with mom in my dream while he was gone. She must be sending him the messages I'm getting too and that's why he's been acting weird. He lets the headache pass and the vision show it's self to him. Blonde woman in a white dress. Same blonde woman that I saw standing on the side of the road next to me. Now she was standing next to him in our room. Only I wasn't seeing her. All I was seeing was Dean sitting on the floor trying to shake off the headache like it was bothering him. Somehow, I "knew" what she was showing him.

"You're brother needs you, Dean. He's not your enemy. This is your destiny."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"You saved his life."

"What exactly does my destiny hold, mom? Freak headaches and visions like my brother? Sorry, I can't afford to be "The Shinning". That's Sammy's role. I have to have my head in the game. What if this thing comes for Sam and I can't protect him?"

"You will protect him and you will be strong. Trust him and trust that everything is going to be just fine."

"You don't know what's out there, Mom."

"I do. I know his father spawned many children. It's your turn to send them back."

He stops shaking and comes back into the "here and now". He looks at me and blinks blankly.

Dean: "What the hell just happened?"

Sam: "You said your head hurt and you sat down on the floor."

I sit next to him on the floor. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. What if he gets another flash as I get back up? He leans back against the wall and takes a deep breath causing himself to come to a complete calm now.

Dean: "I know. I know my head hurt. Now it's gone just like before we found you in Cold Creek."

Sam: "You had a vision of me in Cold Creek?"

Dean: "Well, not of you. It was of Cold Creek itself. Someone was sending me where you were. Which turned out to work in our favor except that I got there as Jake was driving a shank into your spinal cord and I got to feel you die in my arms."

Sam: "What was happening in your vision right now?"

Dean: "I saw your woman in white. You're right, she does look like mom."

Sam: "See? I told you it wasn't some evil demon that was trying to posess me."

Dean: "Sam, she said that the Yellow Eyed Demon spawned many children and that we need to send them back."

Sam: "What else did she say?"

Dean: "This is my destiny and I have to trust you to help me through this. She kept saying "his father"."

Sam: "My father, Dean. She's saying that I'm connected to what we already killed and he fathered all of the demons that escaped from hell when the gate was opened. We already knew that."

Dean: "Why am I getting "The Shinning" now? That's your little gift."

Sam: "It's not "The Shinning" and it's not a gift. It's a projection from my vision to what you just saw. I had a dream while you were out getting pizza that mom was trying to convince you that I'm not your enemy and that we need to work together."

Dean: "We always work together and we need to get to Calico."

We both rest up enough to leave the hotel bright and early the next morning. Dean is determined now more then ever to get to Calico. I'm afraid of what we're going to find out there. I don't even want to know if I am related to this whole raging war or not. It's too much for me to handle. I'm happy just being Sam Winchester. Not Sam Winchester, the evil head of hell's war.


	4. Chapter 4

Calico, CA

We finally cross over the state line into California. There's an eerie sense of quiet all around us. Dean focused straight ahead on the road and I focused on the map. We hadn't spoke 5 words since we left Nevada and our little encounter with Mom. Unless it was to tell him where to turn on the road map or how to get to a gas station. Since when does Dean just stop talking to me without giving a reason? It's almost like he blames me for the vision he had about Mom. Either he is blaming me or he believes what mom said about the Yellow Eyed Demon being my father. I can't read his expression. He's lost in some sort of intense deep thought. I can hear the wheels in his head working on something. He's formulating a plan and is not exactly sure where to go from here. Maybe that's the reason he's not talking. He can't give me a definite answer to what to do and that is scaring him into silence.

I can't stand this strange sense of tension between us. If he's going to cuss me out or hate me, he needs to do it and stop hiding behind the fact that we're driving. I'm not one of "them" and I'm not going to let him treat me like one of "them" either. There's enough chaos out there with all those kids and the war raging around us. This is the last thing we need to come between us. Finally, we pull into a hotel in Calico and park. Dean gets out and checks us into a room as usual. I'm watching the people walking through the town with their families and living normal life. I find myself wishing I was one of them on mom and dad's arm talking about how cool the Old West is and how I want to be a cowboy when I'm older. I'm pulled out of my day dream by Dean handing me a room key.

Calico is basically an abandon mining town and is popular for Calico Ghost Town not that far from where our hotel room is. It doesn't look like much. Lots of mountains and desert and not much else around. It's more of a tourist trap then anything that is actually haunted in terms that me and Dean can certify. They charge tourists 7 bucks to drive into this Ghost town and stay in one of these old mining hotel rooms. If you ask me, it looks like a gyp. They mine for gold too and can ride horses and go on old fashioned Western carriage rides and witness a stage coach robbery. They even take tours of the old abandon mines if the shafts are safe to go into.

Man, tourists will go for anything that claims it is haunted. They wouldn't even go near that shit if they had experienced what Dean and I have all our lives. The fascination with the Supernatural gets to be a whole different experience then. You have to decide who or what is going to kill you next and how to protect yourself on your feet in battle. Again, I am pulled from my thoughts by Dean speaking this time.

Dean: "So, this is what the end of the world really feels like."

Sam: "What do you mean, the end of the world?"

He throws his duffel bag on the floor in the corner and sits on the other bed next to mine. He looks me dead in my eyes for the first time since the vision. Dean actually looked scared. I've never seen my brother's confidence sway once, but there was something looking back at me in those green eyes and that intense sense of vulnerability he was showing me. His voice was soft spoken and quiet like he was just coming to this realization right now.

Dean: "Just what I said. The end of the world as we know it. War raging all around us. Demons and other evil spirits walking amongst the human race. We can't tell who is who and what is safe. There's nobody to turn to and nobody to trust. This is the end of our world."

Sam: "Yeah. I guess in a way, it is the end of our world. There are going to be some huge changes now. We're just going to have to adjust to the changes and adapt to the new surroundings. We're Winchesters. We can survive this with no problem. We always bounce back."

Dean: "How do you bounce back from finding out your mother was with the Yellow Eyed Demon and that demon not only fathered your brother, but killed everyone you've ever loved. How do you just bounce back and move on with every day life after finding out that information. Mom was sleeping with the enemy. She trusted something Supernatural and it killed her. It burned her alive on the ceiling and almost cost her one of her sons."

Sam: "Mom was not sleeping with the enemy. Mom walked in on him feeding me. She didn't have actual sexual contact with the Yellow Eyed Demon. John Winchester is my father not him. I don't care who's blood I have in my veins. I will always be a Winchester and I will always defend my family. You're not alone in this battle, Dean."

Dean: "You know, I'd like to believe that and I would love to trust that you are on my side. I really would love to believe that you are strong and loyal and ready to go to battle for me at any given moment. You even said that you would defend me to the end no matter what. I just can't trust the fact that you have demon blood in you, Sam. You have a loyalty to the enemy too. They can take you away from me and then I really will be all alone with nobody else left."

I can see tears of doubt welling in the corners of his green eyes. He really didn't believe that I would stay a loyal Winchester. Hell, we hadn't even started the research to prove that I'm a loyal Winchester above everything else and he was already giving in to the doubt and dismissing his brotherly instinct to hold on and be strong and trust that I won't let him down. I put my hand on his leg as a reassurance.

Sam: "I'm not going to give up on you. You have to believe me. I am the one thing you can count on right now. Those fuckers are going down and I'm not loyal to any of them. I want to prove mom was my mom as well as your mom. I want to show those fuckers that no matter who's blood is in my veins, I know where my family is. As far as I am concerned, they took my family away from me. They took my mom, dad, Jess and now they're trying to take you away from me too. This year contract on your life is like a test for me to show where my true loyalty lies and I am your brother, Dean. Not some evil demonic facade of your brother. There is no loyalty to the enemy. That's why I kill them and send them back to hell. I have no loyalty to them."

He looks down at my hand like he wants to cry on my shoulder, but doesn't do it. He just takes a big deep breath and tries to control his shaky voice as he speaks.

Dean: "I really want to believe you. I want to accept you and I want to help you prove mom wasn't involved with the Yellow Eyed Demon's plan to destroy the family and even the world. I can't have this doubt about you, Sam. It's not fair to doubt you and question where your loyalties lay. You've proven yourself to me time and time again and I shouldn't have to ask you to do it again. I can't stand having these doubts. I'm the strong one that you can lean on when you need a rock. I'm not supposed to be vulnerable and weak."

He wipes away a stray tear that falls down his cheek despite him fighting it off and trying not to let it fall. I swallow back my own emotion. Dean was actually showing emotions to me and I think he deserves his time.

Sam: "It's OK to be scared. It's OK to not be the strong one all the time. I don't think any less of you for showing a little bit of emotional cracking."

Dean: "I'm turning this into a sappy "chick flick" moment between us."

He lays back on the bed breaking the intense eye contact and letting his tears fall unnoticed by me and my prying eyes. He's right. It was an intense emotional moment and all I can do is be his comfort.

Dean: "Why don't you crack open that lap top of yours and see what's so damn haunted about this Ghost town. There might be an actual job we can do here other then turning into a couple of girls."

Sam: "I was thinking the same thing."

I get my lap top and start plotting away at different web sites. Lots of old miner's tales about accidents in the mining shafts. Indian attacks and old cowboy gun slinging stories that were worthy of most John Wayne movies. This place was really hot in the Old West days. There's a saloon that did big business and an old Sheriff station that still has a sheriff that rides on horse back through the town. Everything is pretty much abandoned now. Hence, why it is called Calico Ghost Town and a tourist trap now. But, there are millions of legends about the mining shafts and the old trails through the mountains. Reports of seeing old cow boy ghosts and Indians chasing people out of the mountains and into the desert areas. People hearing gun shots that echo from nowhere specific followed by screams of someone being hurt. People hearing Indian cries and horse hooves out on the trails. Even some feelings of people feeling like they were being watched in the hotel rooms by "unseen eyes" and unexplained "cold" spots in the rooms and environmental changes that were unexplained.

Sam: "Hey check this out. There's a Room 401 in this hotel where a man and woman reported seeing a cowboy chasing an Indian woman out on the trails around 2 AM. They said it seemed normal until they heard unexplained screams and cries for "Help". They called down to the front desk to get help and they found nothing out there. No cowboy or Indian woman. They had just vanished into thin air according to the inn keeper."

Dean: "Room 401, huh."

Sam: "Yeah. Isn't that this room?"

Dean looks at the room key and sure enough, they were staying in the infamous Room 401 where the Indian was spotted on the trail.

Dean: "And it looks like it's just getting dark outside. Show time should be starting according to all those local legends you were reading."

Sam: "Yeah. I guess. Well, my computer is still acting normal and there are no unexplained environmental changes so far. No feeling like we're being watched or unexplained cold spots."

Dean: "Yeah. We know most of that stuff is bullshit anyway."

He takes out his EMF detector and is scanning around the room just for kicks. I can't help but smile. Leave it to Dean to just jump right into a project.


	5. Chapter 5

So Far, no reading on the meters. The room seems to be free from any sort of paranormal activity. So much for "Haunted Room 401" and the "cold spots" in the environment. Suddenly, Dean's meter starts blinking. He looks over at me and I look back. The electricity was flickering for no good reason. My computer was stable. Nothing going on with the electricity there, but the room lights were flickering and the clock on the table had gone out. Suddenly, there is a loud "pop" like something exploding close enough to make Dean and I both duck down. No object, but now an unexplained crack in the window glass appeared.

Dean: "What the hell?"

Sam: "This is our Room 401 ghost? A crack in the window and some flickering lights? That could be anything."

Dean: "It's real though. The EMF meter was going nuts before that window cracked."

Sam: "We know that thing is not always 100 right."

Dean: "Well, this is the one in 50 chance that it actually got something real going on here."

Sam: "How do we know this isn't just a put on? The electricity is common knowledge if someone wanted to scare us."

Dean: "Who would be trying to scare us? Nobody knows who we are or why we're here."

Sam: "I'm sure there are staff members that run this hotel that have heard the ghost stories about this room."

Dean: "Yeah. You could be right. But, this meter is saying otherwise and that crack in the window wasn't just projected there. It's a real crack."

He runs his finger over it lightly as to not get any small shards in his own finger. The glass seemed to creak in protest to his touch. Suddenly, a dark shadow moves below. Dean blinks and then looks again and the dark shadow is gone.

Dean: "Tell me you saw a dark shadow down there."

Sam: "Down where?"

He points to a clearing over on the hill that is eye level with the window to their room.

Dean: "It was out by those trees right there and now it's gone."

Sam: ""A dark shadow that's now gone."

Dean: "That's what I said and that's what I saw. You know I wouldn't pull your leg."

Sam: "I'm not doubting what you saw. I just didn't see it for myself. You think that shadow creature had something to do with the light show and the cracked window?"

Dean: "There's only one way to find out."

He tosses me my gun and we head out of the room as inconspicous as possible. We don't need 50 tourists following us and getting hurt because they think this is part of the ghost town show productions they put on. We go straight for the dark clearing by the trees where Dean said he saw the shadow creature. It doesn't look like a likely area where a shadow creature would be hanging out, but the evidence said otherwise. It wasn't a flashy stage trick put on by the management as I first suspected either. This was one of the kids seeking us out. With all the craziness about mom I had almost forgot we were smack in the middle of a crazy war with the demon children. This little guy must be a reminder if we find him.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean: "It's playing hide and go seek with us."

He bends down to investigate, what looks like some broken twigs on the ground.

Sam: "Why now?"

Dean: "To remind us we are at war. It figured we were distracted with trying to find information about Mom and your connection to what we killed. I told you we're vulnerable as long as your mind isn't 100 in the game."

Sam: "So much for our sleepy little ghost town."

Dean and I look around for any more obvious signs that the shadow creature wasn't just Dean's imagination going crazy and wishing something was out in the bushes. The broken twigs could be animals. It was as if Dean never saw the shadow anywhere.

Dean: "What the hell?"

He shines his flash light on a yellow shining substance on the bushes. There's that familiar smell to it.

Dean: "Sulfur. This thing is a shadow demon. It's confirmed now officially."

Suddenly, I"m overwhelmed by a connection. Something is telling me to leave Dean. I can't shake the feeling. I even find myself walking away.

"Leave him here. Dean will be fine, Sammy. I"ll answer all of your questions for you."

The female voice. The woman in white was trying to communicate with me again. I now see it's not my mom's spirit that was talking to me. It wasn't even a female at all. The shadow demon is mimicking my mom's voice to lure me into some sort of trap. The apparition I thought I saw of my mom was actually the shadow demon feeding off of my thoughts just like Dean had said. My guard is up now. I've been tricked before by one of these ugly bastards and I'm not gonna let it happen again.

Sam: "I'm not leaving him out here."

Suddenly, Dean turns his rock salt gun on me.

Dean: "I don't know what kind of demonic supernatural freak you are, but I do know how to kill you."

Sam: "Whoa, Dean. It's me. You're about to shoot me with that gun."

Dean: "Step away from my brother and fight. You afraid I'm gonna send you back to hell again?"

Evil laughter fills the dark little woods and Dean hears it this time. He cocks the gun towards the sound now. The thing is messing with his head now. Making him think it's out there in the trees somewhere like the Windego.

"Sammy, he's obviously not like you and I. He's delusional. Let me handle it. I'm his mother."

Sam: "You're not my mom. You never were my mom. You just wanted to lure us out into the middle of nowhere to hunt us."

Dean: "Stop talking to it. You're feeding it your thoughts when you talk to it. Just shut up."

Sam: "You saw mom in that vision, right? She was talking to you and telling you the same thing she told me, right?"

Dean: "Yeah. I saw something. This was all a huge set up. Mom is dead. Her spirit saved us in Lawrence."

Sam: "I was there, remember Dean? I saw her burst into flames before our eyes."

Dean: "Block it out. No matter how bad you want to believe it's mom."

"Always the brave brother. You're weak with him. He can't save you from your destiny."

Sam: "You're hearing this, right?"

Dean: "Yeah. Now to kill this evil mind fucking son of a bitch."

There's movement in the trees again. This time, Dean has his focus on something red he sees in his side vision and shoots. There's a scream and a cloud goes up. Now, the voice takes on a male voice.

"Protect Sammy, Dean. Take care of him for me."

Dean: "That's a damn good impression. I bet it works on all the ugly hell bitches. Why don't you come out of the damn shadows and let me fight you man to man? It's me your after anyway. I made the deal."

Suddenly, Dean is bum rushed to the ground and the rock salt gun goes flying one way. He lands up against a tree with a hard "Thump" that almost cracks the tree.

Sam: "Dean!"

I shoot at the black cloud and again, he goes into hiding. I run to check Dean out. He's knocked out cold against the tree. The thing is obviously gearing up for another attack. I have to think quick. I have to get Dean's unconscious body out of here before that thing tears us both to shreds. I have a quick idea and pull a light up canister out of my bag and toss it in the direction where the shadow dissipated. It starts to scream in pain. The bright light obviously hurting it. I manage to get a burst of adrenaline and carry Dean back to the hotel. I haul his half conscious body into the room and set him on the bed as much as possible. Then I go about taking the necessary precautions to keep our shadow demon out of the room. Salt the windows and around the door. I lock the door so no humans can come question why I have an unconscious man on my bed.

Sam: "God Dean, please be all right."

He moans a bit and attempts to sit up but lays back down.

Dean: "Son of a bitch. That little fucker hurt my back. I can't sit up right."

Sam: "Don't worry. I'll take care of you. Just tell me where it hurts."

I try to prop him up on a couple of pillows so I can examine the damage to his back more closely. I gingerly run my hand up his spine.

Sam: "Well, there doesn't appear to be any broken bones. That's a good thing. It didn't damage your spinal cord or column."

Dean: "I think he just threw me around a good one."

He winced when I ran my hand along his lower back and rib area.

Sam: "You may have a couple of cracked or bruised ribs in there. We may need to get you X rayed just to make sure nothing vital was damaged."

Dean: "I'll be fine. Just wrap an ace bandage around me and put some ice on it. It's a couple of bruises."

His face is pale and he looked like he was struggling to breath when he spoke. I wasn't going to take "I'm not going" for an answer. If the roles were reversed, he'd hog tie me to the passenger seat and drag me in to the hospital by my ear.

Sam: "You're pale as the sheets. You're struggling for breath. Don't be the macho hard ass older brother right now. That Shadow demon is not going to stay dormant just because you got a little kicked around. I can't fight it on my own."

Dean: "All the more reason why I don't need to be held up in some god damn hospital. I'm a sitting duck in there. This amulet is only good for keeping a possession away not for getting my ass kicked. Especially if it's connected to the hell hounds that come claim you after your deal is up."

Sam: "It hasn't been a year yet. They're not going to come to claim you. Stop acting like your going to go to hell. I'm not letting you go and you know that. I'm going to do everything in my power to protect you. It's my turn to save your ass. Remember that conversation in Cold Oak?"

Dean: "Yeah. I can't intervene either or you'll drop dead again and I can't lose you. I won't let you die again, Sam."

Sam: "You're going to that hospital and your getting those ribs looked at and I don't want to hear one more word about. I'm not going to drop dead again, Dean. You're not intervening with this. It's all my doing. Let me protect you this time."

He leans an arm around my shoulders and I help him up off the bed. He winces again as the sharp pain from his ribs hits him.

Dean: "God dammit. It's getting worse."

Sam: "We're going."

I get his keys and get him into the passenger side of the Impala. I rush him to the closest hospital and make sure to keep an eye out for anything suspicious around. Any strange people or strange feelings around the hospital. Dean is right about one thing. We're kind of sitting ducks in the hospital. Those things tend to know when you are at your most vulnerable and in your weakest state of mind. I've got my guard up mentally and physically. A nurse approaches me for the usual insurance information.

I sit in the waiting room and fill out the paper work while they patch up Dean and his bruised up ribs. They wheel him out in a wheel chair as I hand the nurse the paperwork.

Doctor: "Mr. Howser? You're brother is going to be just fine. He's got some bruised ribs from that nasty fall he took. Just for future reference, you might want to watch where your playing tackle football at night. You could've snapped your brother's back."

Sam: "Thank you doctor. I will remember that."

Doctor: "Get this prescription filled out. He needs to take one every 4 to 6 hours for the pain."

Sam: "Ok. Thanks again."

The doctor lets me wheel Dean to the car and load him up to take him back to the hotel.

Sam: "D. Howser?"

Dean: "It got us in and out of there without any questions."

Sam: "I didn't realize you were a fan of Neil Patrick Harris."

Dean: "Shut up, bitch."

Sam: "Jerk."

We decided it wasn't a smart move to go back to the hotel in the ghost town. So, we got another room at a different hotel. We decided to try to get some sleep for the night. More like, I slept and Dean tried to hide the fact that his ribs were killing him. I gave him his meds for the night and tried to make him as comfortable as possible. I don't imagine riding around in the Impala helped him out any with the discomfort.

The next morning, I got on the Internet and looked up every possible thing there was to know about shadow demons and how to protect yourself from them. I also found a couple of ways to kill one. Rock salt as we all know, wasn't going to do anything other then piss the damn thing off and the last thing Dean needs is another thrashing from an attack. There's an interesting theory on silver repelling them and iron rods. It was the best one next to blessing the area. Cuz I don't think blessing an entire forest is humanly possible even for Dean and I. Our charms Bobby gave us would help us from being possessed or taken over by anything that the Shadow demon could throw out there to mind fuck us into doing something to each other.

I just wanted a way to block it from talking to me and getting inside my thoughts. That was proving a lot harder to find then the actual binding rituals. Dean sits up in his bed and attempts to move from his position.

Sam: "You need me to help you get up?"

Dean: "I want to try it on my own. I'm feeling a little stronger now."

He manages to sit up and swing his legs over the side of his bed before taking a deep breath again and trying to relax through the pain.

Sam: "You need another pain pill. It's been 6 hours."

Dean: "I don't want to rely on that stuff. Just give me a minute."

Sam: "All right, but if you can't stand up without it killing you, your taking one."

Dean: "Yes daddy."

He stands up and lets out the breath he was holding slowly. He walks to the bathroom and manages to use the bathroom without making too much of an effort out of it. He comes out and takes one of his pills.

Sam: "See? I told you they help you."

Dean: "Yeah. If I want to sleep for the next 4 days they help a lot. This is weak. I can't take a piss without my ribs acting a fool."

Sam: "Dude, the bruises are a little under 24 hours old. It's going to hurt. It's OK to take care of yourself for a change."

Dean: "I don't have time to take care of myself. We have a shadow demon to kill."

Sam: "Speaking of which, I did some research on how to kill it."

Dean: "And what did you find?"

Sam: "If we bless some rod iron rounds, that will kill it. Also, blessed silver bullets will kill it. But, they have to be blessed by the church."

Dean: "And where are we going to find a church to bless silver bullets and iron rounds where the priest isn't going to think we're total whack jobs."

Sam: "Churches are everywhere. We can go right here in town to the church and have the priest bless them there."

Dean: "All right. Let's motor."

Sam: "Are you sure your good enough to ride along?"

Dean: "I'm good for the next 6 to 8 hours. Let's go. We're burning time here."

We get into the Impala and drive to a near by church. Of course, I have the necessary stuff in a potato sack. Now, to come up with a believable story as to why we need these odd items blessed and how to keep the priest from asking us a million questions we can't really answer straight anyway. How do you explain to a priest that you opened the gates of hell and now your responsible for collecting the prisoners and returning them?

The priest is giving his sermon to the congregation when we walk in. This time, we manage to be quiet and not attract any attention to ourselves.

Dean: "I feel like a class A jack ass."

We take a seat at the very last set of pews and I try to set the bag down as quiet as possible at my feet.

Sam: "Imagine my delight. I have this stupid bag over my shoulder. You realize we're going to have to lie to this man in church."

Dean: "You realize if we tell him the truth he's going to call the cops, right?"

Sam: "Why would he call the cops? We're just a couple of whack jobs blessing tools for our new found job."

Dean: "This can't turn out good."

Before we can mull this over in our brains any further, an older gentlemen in a priest's clothes approaches us.

Priest: "Welcome my sons. It's always good to see new faces at the services."

Sam: "I'm Sam Winchester and this is my brother, Dean."

Priest: "Hello Dean."

Dean: "Hello. That was a really great sermon. I really enjoyed it."

Priest: "I'm always happy to spread the word of the Lord to new ears. So, what brings you boys to this church?"

Dean: "Oh, we're just passing through town and thought we would stop in."

Priest: "I'm really glad you did."

Sam: "We sort of have a strange request for you. Can we go somewhere in private? I don't want to attract too much attention."

Priest: "Sure. My office is right over here."

He leads us into a rather classy looking office and Dean and I sit down.

Priest: "What can I do for you boys?"

Dean: "Well, we need the stuff in this bag blessed for our new job. We're supersticious and we think your blessing will ward off any evil spirits that are trying to keep us from our good work."

Priest: "Sure. Anything to spread the Lord's Love."

Dean hands him the bag and we follow him into the church where he would baptize people. He performs the blessing and submerges the bag in the water making sure everything is covered. We thank the older gentlemen and promise to stop by again soon. We get back into our car.

Sam: "That was painless. You handled the situation well in there."

Dean: "It must be the pain meds. He didn't ask very many questions. I like that guy."


	7. Chapter 7

It did seem to go a little bit too easy. Most priests would probably question a couple of strangers in a small town like this. That guy didn't even think twice about blessing a bag of random iron rods and bullets. Then again, we are in an old western mine town or what's left of what used to be one. Maybe there still are miners who work around here and take random stuff to be blessed like we did.

Either way, we were heading back to the hotel with the necessary tools for the job. Now all we had to do was wait for the shadow demon to show itself again. There are still a couple more hours until dark and it's not going to show it's self in the middle of the afternoon daylight. I'm driving and Dean is in the passanger seat. It's obvious that the pain pills are kicking in. He looked like he was drunk or had been drinking. He has the pill bottle in his hand and is absently flipping it around in his hand like it's a toy shaking the pills around and causing them to rattle slightly. I kinda laugh to myself at how slow he's going about doing it. It's comical to watch my brother in his drugged out state of mind. He had to think about every movement his hand made.

Dean: "These are some really good pain pills. I can't feel the pain in my ribs at all right now. You're a pretty good little Nurse Nancy, Sam. I think you missed your calling."

Sam: "You're welcome. Dude, you should really chill on shaking those pills around. You're going to drop them under the seat and then your going to be in trouble."

Dean: "I'm not that retarded."

He slowly puts the bottle in the glove box and tries to close it about four times before successfully getting the bottle to lay flat and the latch to catch. I'm trying not to bust out laughing at the frusteration on his face from not being able to get it right the first time.

Sam: "You are seriously fucked up on those pills. You're in no shape to do anything except sleep it off."

Dean: "Pshhh, I've been drunker then this and had to defend myself in bar fights. I'm perfectly all right. I took two pills just like the directions said to. You watched me do it."

We pull up at the hotel and I go around to help Dean walk straight into the motel. He tried to wave me off, but I could see he was having problems getting out of the car.

Sam: "Right! Perfectly all right. That's why you look like your going to fall asleep on your feet. You can't aim a gun when you can't even keep your eyes from falling shut. I know you only took the recommended dose after fighting me about it. Then you claimed you were good for another 6 to 8 hours."

Dean: "I am good for another 6 to 8 hours. I faught you about the damn pills because I don't want to depend on them. You know we can't depend on anything to protect or help us. Everthing always gets taken away and people end up dead or seriously hurt."

I get the door to the room open and Dean is standing straighter then when I helped him out of the car. His rambling was starting to sound a little slurred, but I could feel a bit of Dean's confession was real and not just some pill enduced random babbling he was spewing off.

Sam: "You're talking to Sam, Dean. I lost my girlfriend to the same supernatural force that took my mom. I know about people ending up dead around us. She was killed off because she got in the way of the plan. That's what the Yellow Eyed Demon told me at Cold Oak. I was there when Dad died right in front of me in the hospital. He just dropped dead without any explination. I was a baby when mom was killed above my head in a raging fire. She was killed because she interrupted Yellow Eyed trying to make me his half breed son. Do we really need to go into this conversation right now?"

I close and lock the door. Dean goes over and sits on his bed he looked like he was about to pass out on the bed, but was fighting it with everything that was in him.

Dean: "I know. I'm sorry that had to happen to you. Nobody should have to watch their girlfriend or mother die like that. I was there when Dad died too. He died because of me, Sam. It was all my fault. He was trying to save me from dying and ended up selling his soul for my life. That haunts me every single day of my living life. Then he lays that secert on me about having to kill you one day if I can't save you.

"Sometimes I just wish dad would've sat down and talked to me like a normal son and father do to each other. Then maybe I wouldn't have had to make that god damn deal with the Crossroads Demon and you never would've got stabbed in the back and died in Cold Oak."

He manages to take off his boots and get comfortable on his pillows a bit. I help him arrange the pillows so his ribs are comfortable as he sleeps.

Sam: "You are not responsible for Dad's death. Dad made that choice on his own. He summons the Yellow Eyed Demon, not you. He made the choice to go meet him in the boiler room of the hospital. You didn't force him to do any of that. He made that deal on his own free will. What happened to you was an accident."

Dean: "A planned accident, Sam. That semi hit the Impala right after we tried to kill Meg. I don't think it was an accident. They wanted all three of us dead and sent someone to kill us."

Sam: "There was nobody at the scene but us and we were in no position to give reports of the details. What makes you say there was someone else there?"

Dean: "Because that semi wasn't driving itself. There had to be someone driving it and that someone had to be posessed and they were told to ram our car and make sure all three of us were dead. They weren't planning on having us all survive that accident."

Sam: "But I survived the accident. I was bumped up and had a few minor cuts and bruises. You and Dad had the most injuries. That's what caused you to go into the coma in the first place."

Dean: "Yeah. I go into a coma and I can't defend myself or you. You're left all alone with dad and I know you can't be left alone with dad. You two will kill each other eventually. They knew that Dad would sacrafise himself for his two boys. Whoever set up that accident wanted dad and they knew the only way to take him was to try and kill me. So, they sent the reaper after my soul knowing dad would try to bargin with his own."

Sam: "I think those pills are getting to your mind, Dean. We know the Yellow Eyed Demon was trying to kill us and dad. That's why we shot him with the Colt and killed him at Cold Oak."

Dean: "I know and I am glad that Yellow Eyed son of a bitch is gone forever and I am glad that you and I are still alive to fight this fight together and send all those evil sons of bitches back to hell where they belong."

Sam: "Yeah. We can fight some more after you've slept off those crazy ass pills. As for Cold Oak, I don't blame you for what happened there. You had no control over Jake stabbing me and you had no control over Yellow Eyes kidnapping me and dragging me out there to get stuck in the middle of that crazy ass war. You didn't have to sacrafise yourself by making that deal with the Crossroads Demon."

Dean: "Your my brother. It's my job to sacrafise myself for you."

He closes his eyes and finally goes to sleep. I pick up my lap top and decide that doing some more research on how to get Dean out of his Crossroads deal.


	8. Chapter 8

I get my lap top and dive straight into research on getting Dean out of his deal. Yeah, I know Bobby said there was no possible answer in any book. Well, maybe there is something on a web site somewhere that will help me save him. I refuse to accept that there is no way to get Dean out of this deal. I can't lose my brother at the end of the year. He's all I got left and I'm going to fight for him rather he wants me to or not.

I can understand that he is nervous and thinks that the Crossroads Demon will try to kill me if I save him, but the Crossroads Demon is dead now too. I'm free to help him any way I know how. All we have to do is find the head demon that gave the Crossroads Demon it's orders. The one I killed is not alone. I just know that wasn't the only answer to finding the head demon with the master plan now.

A couple of hours later, I'm asleep in my own bed. I could hear the rain falling outside. I had shut the computer down hours ago, but the information was still stirring in my head. The storm sounded like it was going to be a good one. The lightening crashing and the thunder rolling. The flashes kept lighting up the room like someone was taking pictures. I turned on my side so the light wasn't interrupting my sleep.

Dean stirred a little. Trying to figure out what was real and what was his own dream from the medication he took earlier for his ribs. Another dream, Something is staring me down and Dean is there trying to protect me as he always does when we fight. This time, it was different. It felt like the final battle.

Dean: "Sam, no. It's not wirth it. Just let me go. I don't want you doing this."

Sam: "No Dean, I won't let them take you. We're fighting this together. There is no reason why I can't save you from this."

Dean: "It's all over. Just go home. You have a life away from me. If you stay here and fight this, they will kill you too. We're both going to end up dead."

Sam: "I won't let that happen. You have to trust me. They want me anyway. I won't let them have the rest of my family."

Dean: "I won't lose you, Sammy. You're not going to die because me."

Sam: "And you're not going to die for me either. We're killing the head demon. The deal will be broken and we'll both live happy, healthy, long lives."

Dean: "You can't be their leader. The only way they're going to let me go is if you lead this twisted army and help them take over. What part of if we try to welch on the deal you're going back to being dead don't you understand? Do you want to die? Is that what this is about? You want to die so you can be their leader so I have to kill you like dad wanted."

Sam: "No way. He's not going to win. He's not taking everyone I love. I won't be your puppet."

He raises the colt and fires off a shot into a faceless figure that swirls about a room like a tornado. It attempts to suck them both in as it swirls down and thunder crashes. Sam survives and Dean lays on the other side of the room unconcious.

In real life, Dean wakes up because a huge clap of thunder sounds too much like close gun fire. He sees that I am sweating and thrashing about in my bed fighting this invisible fight. Next thing I feel, is Dean's hand on my shoulder shaking me from my nightmare.

Dean: "Sam, are you OK?"

Sam: "Yeah. I'm fine. Are you OK?"

It takes me a minute to regesiter that what I was dreaming wasn't really happening.

Dean: "You were calling my name out in your sleep. It sounded dangerous."

Sam: "I was? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you awake like that."

Dean: "Nah, you didn't wake me up. I thought I heard gun fire. Turns out it was only the thunder crashing outside. Man, this storm is getting wicked quick. I can't even see out the window. What the hell were you dreaming that made you sweaty involving me?"

Sam: "I saved your life, but you were unconcious and wouldn't wake up. It was weird. It felt so real I almost thought you were actually going to almost die on me."

Dean: "I'm too stubborn to die. You know that about me. I'm going to check on our storm here. We can't be stuck in this hotel room all night long."

He turned on the weather channel and I took a deep breath. I guess a shower is in order now that I'm all sweaty all over the place. Dean should be fine watching the weather channel.

"For the rest of Southern California, we're expecting at least 4 nches of rain in the next couple of hours. Heavy flooding, possible hail and high winds. This storm is expected to last another 12 hours before finally clearing up. Those living in the burn areas are advised to seek shelter."

Dean: "Great. Well, at least I know that damn shadow demon can't swim."


	9. Chapter 9

I come out of the bathroom and Dean is looking at, what looks like, old maps. Last time I saw those, Bobby was showing us the Hell's gate and how it was protected. Now, Dean seems to be studying it for some sort of answers to some pattern. He kept looking at the Weather Channel and making marks in a similar pattern to what was already marked there.

Sam: "Don't hurt yourself, there. You might throw out a brain cell or something trying to think straight."

Dean: "Ha, ha. You're so damn funny. Don't try the sarcasm thing. It's not your style, dude."

Sam: "Yeah. We might switch roles or something. God forbid that happens."

Dean: "Will you shut up and come over here? I think I'm on to something big."

Sam: "Oh God, I'm afraid to even look."

I reluctantly go over to his side and look at the map of Wyoming he had sprawled out on the bed. The demonic activity markings from when Hell's Gate was opened staring back at me. I physically got a shiver go down my back and my stomach lurched uncomfortably. The map of the United States Dean had next to it, had little black marks on it that weren't there before.

Sam: "What the hell are you doing?"

Dean: "Well, those little marks represent weather storms that have been followed by some sort of supernatural event that we've been to or prevented."

Sam: "Those are all the cases we solved up until Calico."

Dean: "Yes and all the little marks in green next to it are the weather storms that were either before or after we left. Dude, these storms are following the supernatural events. The weather is somehow related to all this."

Sam: "Demonic weather activity? Come on, Dean. You've been reading too many on line fan fics."

Dean: "Oh, hell no. I don't go near that stuff. I don't even know how to turn your lap top on. Besides, you'd kill me for rotting my brain on that shit. I'm serious. The case in New York, a huge thunderstorm hit right before that huge ass creature tore into that old lady and her family. We were called a week after that thunderstorm. The whole time we were there, it was pouring rain. Then magically, as if we waved a wand or something, the rain was gone and the sun came out. That creature was killed and the weather cleaned up."

Sam: "Are you still high on those meds? This is straight out of one of those sci fi novels."

Dean: "You don't think it sounds strange to me too? I've never seen a pattern in the weather that follows after Demonic activity. This is weird even for us to be exploring. The Shadow Demon and the secrets about mom are just the tip of the ice berg. More bigger things are yet to come. Bobby was right. We're stuck right in the middle of this huge storm."

Sam: "Now that you mention it, there was a huge lightening storm right before the attack in Lawrence. Dad even said it was a sign that Yellow Eyes was coming. But, Yellow Eyes is dead and so is the Crossroads Demon. What the hell is possibly coming for us?"

Dean: "I don't know, but the answer to that question lies in the heart of Cold Oak where all this was hatched. I have a feeling that that big ass black cloud threw mother nature into a uproar. She doesn't like the fact that the demons escaped any more then we do and this is her way of telling us that there is something out there and it's not quietly going away."

Sam: "OK. So, your trying to tell me that this is not a random winter storm front rolling into California and it's not normal for them to get rain around this time of the year or storm fronts."

Dean: "No. It's perfectly normal from them to get rain this time of year. It's winter and yes, California has weather. I'm not saying that it's always hot and sunny here. I'm saying that the big huge storms have been following Demonic activity. It's not a coincidence that the shadow demon attacked me and this huge storm hit. It's connected and he's not alone."

Sam: "OK. What the hell does going back to Cold Oak have to do with killing the shadow demon here, in California? Your not making any sense, Dean."

Dean: "Cold Oak hatched the demons. You see what I'm saying? You were kidnapped and brought to Cold Oak for a reason. That Hell Gate was opened for a reason. That Hell Gate started the storm which started the war that we're fighting right now. Cold Oak is totally related to the shadow demon here. It's the sole place he was born from. He followed us here. He lead us into that forest and tried to kill me by throwing me into that tree."

Sam: "The shadow demon was born in Cold Oak and brought out here by the storm. We followed the activity out here. I put us in the middle of the path thinking it was mom leading me out here for answers to why she and Yellow Eyes knew each other. The whole thing was a set up."

There was that familiar feeling. My skin was crawling and my blood was boiling. All the memories from Cold Oak were flooding back into my mind. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I could stand up any more. I sat on the other bed. All I could see was that abandoned Ghost town and those innocent people there with me. They weren't supernatural and they were all dead now. I was the sole survivor from the test. I saw Jake pretending to be my friend and help me get out of Cold Oak and then I felt a sharp pain in my spine everything went black. Like there was no memory there at all.

Dean: "Sam? What's wrong? Are you OK?"

Sam: "I can't go back to Cold Oak, Dean."

Dean: "What's happening? You're pale in the face."

Sam: "I have no memory of what happened there. I know there were other people there and I know I was stabbed. I just know what you told me and what Bobby said."

Dean: "It's OK. You don't have to remember what happened there right now."

Sam: "If I step foot in that place, I'm afraid of what's going to happen to me. I lost my abilities there. Something changed that night in that cemetery. I killed a non supernatural being in that cemetery."

Dean: "You killed your murder, Sam. Jake stabbed you and severed your spinal cord in Cold Oak. You avenged your own death. He would've killed you again. We were stopping him from opening the Hell Gate."

Sam: "I know we stopped him, but the gate got opened anyway and the demons still escaped. We killed him for nothing other then for the sake of killing a murderer. That's not our job. We don't kill other human beings."

Dean: "I know. Jake was after us. We would've been killed if we didn't kill him first. You didn't hesitate to stop him."

Sam: "Why did you make that deal, Dean? Why did you bring me back? You were the one who said "What's dead should stay dead" and then you go and bring me back from the dead. What you bring back is never the same as when it was alive. You even said that to me yourself."

Dean: "I couldn't lose you like that, Sammy. We were going to kill that son of a bitch together. He wasn't taking you and dad. I wasn't going to let him win."

Sam: "So, you'd rather hand over your soul to the next head in charge now that he's gone. Yeah, I can see where that was a good idea."

Dean: "I did what I had to do. I knew in the long run, you'd do something to save me. Then she told me that you couldn't help and I couldn't welch on the deal in any way or you would go right back to being dead."

Sam: "So, letting me watch you get dragged off to hell by hell hounds was the lesser of the two evils for you. I'm sorry. You're my big brother and I know you love me, but that hurts more then knowing I would die if I helped you fight the Crossroads Demon and her army."

Dean: "I had to do it so you could have your revenge on that son of a bitch. It was worth it. We got rid of him. Now we have to follow this wild ass weather back to Cold Oak and put a damper on his world domination plans."

Sam: "Chasing the wild ass weather is not going to put a damper on any plan that has been released with those demons. I can't put blind faith in going back to Cold Oak. It tried to claim me once and I'm afraid they will finish the job as soon as I am over state line. You weren't there with those other people. You didn't watch each one of them surrender to their powers and die for it. Those were human beings not demons or a vengeful spirits."

Dean: "I really am sorry you had to go through that. I had no idea you were so torn up over this."

Sam: "Cold Oak changed me forever, Dean. Nothing will ever be the same. That place is pure evil. It's not worth going back to. I gave up my abilities to be free from that influence and now there's a chance that I may not be 100 me anymore. I can't give in to that demon blood in my system and I'm afraid that Cold Oak is going to bring that all back."


	10. Chapter 10

Dean: "I'm not going to let that happen. They're not going to take you . I'd rather die."

Sam: "Be careful what you wish for, Dean. That's how you ended up making the packed and selling your soul."

The lights in the hotel started to flickering strangely and my computer battery suddenly drained dead. Dean and I both share a knowing look. Something was coming our way. We had to prepare for battle. The salt lines around the window and door should keep it at bay for a little while, but it's not permanent and this thing likes to play with our heads a lot. That familiar voice came back again.

"Sam, I need your help. They're after me."

It was mimicking another familiar voice from my past, Ava. I know damn well Ava is dead, but the shadow demon did a very convincing impression. Almost as convincing as his impression of our Dad's voice in the woods and my mom's voice to lead us into it's trap. But, I'm not giving in to it.

"You have to help me. They let me go after Cold Oak. I'm not evil anymore. I don't understand what's happening. Why do they want me, Sam? What's so special about our powers that they keep coming after us?"

Sam: "It's funny how you came back from being dead. I killed you myself. I watched you die in front of me. There is no way in hell you are alive again. I made sure of that."

"I'm obviously not dead, Sam. I'm right here on the other side of this door. Begging you to help me. That shadow demon is after me too. He wants all three of us. What's happening?"

The lights continue to flicker and the pounding on the door becomes frantic. The voice becomes more frightened. If I didn't kill Ava myself, I would almost believe she was begging me to let her in and save her from this thing. But, the shadow demon was just playing us to get one of us to break the salt line so he could attack again. He knew Dean was weak from the first attack and ripe for the taking if he hit him just right. I wasn't about to let this evil son of a bitch have my brother.

"I'm scared Sam. Don't leave me out here with this creature."

Suddenly, there's a hideous sounding scream. The true form of the shadow demon when he's attacking and a rather, human sounding scream back. I look at Dean and Dean looks at me. The scream sounded a bit too real. I know damn well it ain't Ava, but the creature had someone out there playing his victim and was about to kill because the screams were definably real.

Dean: "What the hell are we supposed to do? As soon as we break the salt line, this fucker is going to be all over me like a cheap prom date."

Sam: "But, what if that's a real female out there he is killing and we just stand here and let him take her life? That's the same as murdering her ourselves."

Dean: "What if it's not a real human and he's just baiting one of us to come outside so he can kill us?

Sam: "Fuck this."

I step over the salt line not breaking it and I open the curtain just slightly enough to be able to make out a human form standing at our door frantic. Just as we suspected. I open the door and pull the human inside, but shut the door rather quickly to keep the shadow demon out. The girl collapses into my arms hysterically. She was really scared out of her wits. If I hadn't pulled her in, that thing surely would've had her for dinner and then came back for us.

Dean is busy making sure our salt lines were still thick in keeping the thing at bay. Then just as sudden as it came, everything was normal again. The lights stopped flickering and my computer beeped like it was powered up again. Quiet as a church outside. A little too quiet.

Girl: "Oh my God, what the hell was that thing?"

Dean: "Honey, you don't even want to know what you just walked up on."

I notice that she is bleeding from her back and her shirt is ripped down the back. She was holding it on to conserve her modesty in front of two men.

Sam: "You're bleeding."

Girl: "Yeah. I got swatted by that thing. Some sort of talon."

She turns her back to me and there are six huge gashes in her back that were deep. I had no idea how we were going to fix her up without taking her to a hospital and having to explain the huge gashes on her back.

Girl: "I was going back to my room. I'm a guest here with two other friends of mine. They're going to be worried about me now. All I did was go to get some ice. I never would've left my room if I knew that was out in the hall."

I go gather some first aid supplies. I couldn't let this girl bleed all over. I had to do something to help her.

Dean: "I don't think your friends are going to have much to worry about any more. That thing is still out there hunting."

Girl: "Can you two stop, whatever the hell that was from attacking again?"

Sam: "This is going to smart a lot. So, what's your name?"

I put some iodine on the cuts to stop the bleeding. She flinches and Dean offers her a bottle of Jack from the mini bar.

Dean: "It's not much, but it'll take your mind off what's going on back there."

Girl: "I'm Sandra."

Sam: "Sam Winchester and this is my brother, Dean."

Sandra: "Nice to meet you."

She draws in another breath at the feeling of me cleaning the cuts and swigs off the Jack. She makes a face at the strong taste of the whiskey, but it beat the sting from the iodine and my make shift stitches I had to perform. It hurt me to do it, but she needed it and there was no way to explain to a doctor that she had been shredded by some prehistoric shadow demon thing with talons.

Sandra: "Got anything stronger in that mini bar?"

Dean opens the bar and finds a couple of small bottles of taquilla. She pretty much drained the Jack, but it was keeping her distracted from the pain.

Sandra: "So, where did you learn to perform on the spot medical help from, Sam?"


	11. Chapter 11

Sam: "I took a couple classes at Stanford awhile back. Thought it might come in handy one day."

She swigs off the tequila. Strangely enough, her talking to me made the stitching seem to go faster and it kept both our minds off the pain. I was on to the second gash. Problem is, the second gash was a lot deeper then the first. So, I decided to keep the conversation going.

Sandra: "Wow. A hot Standford boy. I'm totally impressed. I studied there for two years in pre law."

Sam: "Oh yeah? Whatever happened with that?"

Sandra: "Ironically enough, Dean happened. My two year old son."

Dean: "That's an awesome name for your son."

Sandra: "His full name is Dean Andrew Johnson. My last name, not the dad's."

Dean: "Is he still around?"

I finish up the bad one and there are a couple of small ones that I just needed to put butterfly stitches on and clean up a bit. Sandra seemed to be enjoying the small talk with Dean.

Sandra: "Are you kidding? That two-bit, good for nothing, son of a bitch left me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. He decided playing basketball was more important then raising a family with the woman he claims to love."

She rolls her eyes and finishes off the tequila bottle.

Sam: "All patched up and ready to go."

Sandra: "Good to know. I don't usually do this unless I sleep with a man, but you wouldn't happen to have a whole shirt I could have? This one is a bit shredded to bits."

Sam: "Oh God, yes. I'm so sorry."

I get her a clean shirt and she puts it on. I attempt to kinda look away as she slides the shirt on over her bra. She decides that the bra is pretty well shredded at the back and wraps it inside her shredded top. Luckily, I had another gray shirt she could have as opposed to white. Dean of course, is enjoying the whole show.

Sandra: "It's all right, Sam. I don't mind you and your brother seeing me half naked. You did save my life by patching up my wounds."

I now notice and unusual looking tattoo on the small of her back peeking out as she adjusts her jeans so they aren't falling off of her body.

Sam: "That's a pretty unusual looking tattoo on your back, there."

Sandra: "Oh, that? That's what a drunken night at a frat party will get you. It's some sort of Celtic thing. I have no idea what it means. It's just hot."

She kinda turns to show Dean what I'm talking about and he nods in agreement with her statement.

Sam: "It's a symbol of protection. I've seen it before. It is Celtic. That much is true of what they told you."

Sandra: "Really? That would make sense since I was born in Scotland. My ancestors were Celtic."

Sam: "I could show you what I'm talking about if you want."

She gets a flirty smile on her face.

Sandra: "OK. You can show me anything you want to, Standford boy."

She proceeds to sit on my lap as I bring up a site on my computer that explains exactly what the tattoo means to her. Dean has his famous, "she's in to you" smirk on his face and I'm ignoring him. I know, it looks and sounds like we're flirting, but I honestly think that our meeting was no "accident" and her tattoo was put there for a purpose. So, the excuse of looking it up is answering more questions in my mind.

Sandra: "Wow, that is one powerful protection symbol. Man, I'm glad I'm not a witch. That sounds evil and a half. No wonder that thing jumped on my head. He thought I was one of his people."

Sam: "Shadow demons don't discriminate. He was looking for away in here to get all of us in one shot."

Sandra: "Damn, you guys pissed him off good. You got all these salt rings on you windows and doors and stuff."

Sam: "That's protection to keep him at bay."

Sandra: "Holy shit. I get the proverbial princess rescued from the dragon routine and Prince Charming turns on to be a bonified nut case who thinks salt can keep a pissed off demon at bay."

Sam: "It got him off your back and in here before he could kill you."

Sandra: "I give you that. Yes. Honestly, how long have you two been held up in this room together."

Dean: "We're not held up in here together. We were waiting for the storm to pass so we could leave this god forsaken place."

Sandra: "Whens the last time either one of you had a woman?"

Dean: "I get plenty of women everywhere I go. Thank you very much."

Sandra: "Yeah and the ones who brag about getting it aren't getting shit. I know your type. Go to the bar. Get drunk and start hitting on anything in a skirt that walks by and gives you the time of day. You think a couple of drinks and some cheap pick up line is going to get any girl you want into bed. Maybe use that whole "Protect her from evil" line on her so she's freaked out first. But, in reality you end up coming right back to the hotel with Sammy here all alone and frustrated. I bet he gets more play then you."

I start laughing and Dean shoots me a look.

Dean: "Shut up. I bring women back to their house. I won't objectify them by bringing them to a hotel. That's just wrong."

Sandra: "But, you'll objectify them by assuming they want a piece of the big bad Dean Winchester, savior of man kind. Get real, dude. That's arcadic and most girls see right through it if they have any intelligence in their head."

Sam: "She's got a point, Dean."

Dean: "You're not helping any."

Sandra: "So, how does Sam Winchester do with the ladies?"

Sam: "My sex life is healthy. Let's put it like that."

Dean: "Sex with yourself doesn't count."

I roll my eyes and continue to busy myself on the computer. Truth is, Sandra is hot and I like having her sitting in my lap. Even if she is ribbing Dean a little. He deserves it once in awhile. Besides, she's got hm pegged. Aside from the not taking anyone home. Cuz we know Dean has had many one night stands. There's a reason why Sandra has that symbol on her body and someone doesn't want anything happening to her. This isn't just a happy coincidence.

Sam: "So, ever toy with black magic as fun in college?"

Her face expression changed from on of a flirty college girl to someone who just saw a ghost at the mention of the word. She got up out of my lap and put some distance between the two of us like I was going to hurt her or something.

Sandra: "Why the hell would I want to do that? Look, just because that little Google search tells you that it's used for protecting a witch against black magic from others doesn't mean I play with it. I told you, I woke up drunk at a frat party and there it was. I don't even remember having it done."

Sam: "You just happen to have a symbol to protect you against black magic and ward off black dogs. I don't buy it."

Sandra: "Contrary to you two and your popular belief, there is life outside of the Supernatural and hunting evil. You're obsessed with this shit."

Dean: "It's the family business. We protect people like you from getting killed out there."

Sandra: "I didn't ask for that thing to attack me. All I wanted to do was get some ice so I could have a glass of water. Next thing I know, I have a couple of crazy ass white boys trying to feed me shit about black magic and black dogs. Hell, I don't even go to church regularly."


	12. Chapter 12

Sam: "Lucky for you, that doesn't matter in this case."

Sandra: "Let me let you in on something here, Sam. A way to a woman's heart is not by asking her if she's a witch practicing black magic. You mind as well dunk me in water and threaten to burn me while your at it. I'm going back to my room and my normal friends who aren't trying to sacrifice me to some winged creature that belongs back in the Mid evil Times."

Dean: "You aren't being sacrificed, Sandra. You were attacked. That shadow demon chose you because of what you had tattooed on your body. Someone is going to a lot of trouble to protect you from things like that getting to you. All we're trying to do is figure out what's going on with it so we can help you a little. Maybe even stop whatever it is that is trying to hurt you."

Sandra: "You're both certifiable."

She opens the door and leaves our room, breaking the salt ring around the door and leaving a trail down the hall. It cuts off before she can get to her own room door. We can't force her to stay with us. So, I shut the door and redraw the line.

Dean: "Does any of this strike you as odd?"

Sam: "Is there ever anything "odd" when it comes to the supernatural and our job?"

Dean: "This whole freaken case makes no sense to me. First, we're supposed to be looking for clues to why mom new that Yellow Eyed bastard. Then, we find out a shadow demon is using voices of people we've trusted to try to kill us and now this wounded chick shows up on our door step with some off the wall tattoo on her back. What the hell, dude?"

Sam: "Yeah. That shadow demon could've finished her off, but instead she was left on our doorstep like a wounded animal. If she is being protected from some sort of black magic, there is something a lot more stronger out there after that girl."

Dean: "And why the hell didn't you just shoot that thing with the colt rather then salting it so you could save her ass."

Sam: "I had to think quick. It was gone as soon as the door was opened and she was let inside. It didn't even try to cross the salt line once it was broken."


	13. Chapter 13

Dean: "See what I mean? Something is off, dude and I'm not liking how this looks. That chick has something to do with why that thing didn't turn us all into lunch meat as soon as that salt line was crossed and broken."

Sam: "If that girl is the link to all this and somehow related, there is something way stronger going after her then we're even thinking about right now. She went to Standford around the same time I did. She's my age, Dean."

Dean: "Another psychic kid?"

Sam: "She's got some sort of control over that thing. That's all I know. I have to figure out if she's another psychic or not. I thought the Yellow Eyed Demon killed all of us."

Dean: "Well, apparently she's a part of another generation that we have no clue about."

Sam: "You know what, I just figured this whole thing out."

Dean: "Did you."

Sam: "Yeah. Mom didn't walk in on the Yellow Eyed Demon trying to convert me. She walked in on him trying to make me his own."

Dean: "What do you mean?"

Sam: "He was trying to make me his child. You know how a mother breast feeds with her newborn. Well, he was trying to bond with his son. Mom walked in on that and knew damn well who he was and that he was here to claim me. That's why she was killed. She was trying to protect me from him. She died defending me."

Dean: "Why just you though? Why wouldn't he have gone after the first born son? Isn't that usually how these "Sell your child to the devil" stories go."

Sam: "Mom knew I was supposed to be the next leader. She told Dad and Yellow Eyes was trying to make her make good on her promise to let me lead the army when I grew up. She changed her mind in the middle of the game. She didn't want him taking her baby. So, she tried to fight him and had no idea what his powers could do. That's why dad walked in on her on the ceiling above me burning. She underestimated his powers and lost. She tried to welch on a deal she made for my life."

I get up and walk over to the window. My whole head is spinning. I thought this whole "psychic thing" died with the Yellow Eyed Demon. I was connected to him and everything he did. Now there's a possibility that it never left me and it's connected to why this girl came to our doorstep. She could've landed anywhere and been bleeding. She could've went back to her own room and been perfectly all right. The funny thing is, she doesn't even know what's going on. What the hell did Dean bring back that night at Cold Oak? I needed to find out more about the girl. Was she one of the special kids left alive like I was? Why wasn't she at Cold Oak fighting with the rest of us, if she was one of us. Is she supposed to take her place next to me once Dean is gone?

This whole case is making me a little bit crazy. She seems normal like me. Nothing special about her other then the tattoo and the fiery attitude of hers.

Sam: "I need to clear my head. I'll be back."

Dean: "Sure. No problem."

I head down to the lobby. As I'm coming downstairs, I hear a group of girls coming behind me talking. Sandra is one of them.

Sandra: "Can you believe it? I get rescued by two totally hot guys and they both turn out to be Ghost Hunters of some sort."

Her friend: "Wow. That is nuts. So, how did you get those huge wounds on your back?"

Sandra: "Some sort of animal attacked me. Sam was the one who rescued me and patched up my wounds. This is his shirt."

Her friend: "That is a crazy story. So, your saying that Dean and Sam are Ghost Hunters and they rescued you from some wild animal attack. That's why you were gone all night long."

Sandra: "Yes, Marcy. For once, I am telling the truth as nuts as it sounds. Sam is hot as hell though. I wouldn't mind a piece of that action."

The girls laugh and take a seat at the bar. I try to be conspicuous and hide out in the corner. Maybe some information will come out of the conversation other then knowing she wants to jump me.

Marcy: "So, certified Ghost Hunters in our town."

Sandra: "Yeah and I wonder what kind of ghost they're after. They seemed pretty knee deep in lots of occult related materials. Not very many guys come out and ask you if you practice black magic over a tattoo on your back."

Marcy: "Black magic? That's some dangerous stuff to get involved with."

Sandra: "I couldn't tell you. I don't know a damn thing about it Apparently that little drunken symbol that I have tattooed on my lower back is a Celtic protection symbol and these two crazy ass Ghost Hunters think that whoever put it on my back is trying to protect me from some sort of occult that may try to attack me again."

Marcy: "That sounds dangerous and scary."

Sandra: "Yeah. I think Sam was trying to get me to stay the night with him and he figured if I was running scared, I wouldn't want to leave his big strong arms."

Marcy: "Are you serious? That is no way to pick up a woman."

Sandra: "That's what I said. I think he's been hanging out with his brother a little too much, if you know what I mean."

Marcy: "OK, ewe. Too much information here. Now I have this image of two drunken Hillbillies trying to jump each others bones. It went from heroic to tragic and I'd rather not see where else this story is going to go."


End file.
